[sound of static]

[announcer]
Meet Eddie twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going
He decides to rob a liquor store.
(I cant take this no more I cant take it no more homes)
But on his way in he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly his conscience comes into play...
(Shit is mine I gotta do this... gotta do this)

[Dr. Dre]
Alright stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
And try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
Im your motherf*ckin conscience

[Eminem]
Thats nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunts cribs
And borrow a damn dress and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
Youll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renees razor blade

[Dr. Dre]
Yeah but if it all goes through like its supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and theyll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk shes older than George Burns

[Eminem]
F*ck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a f*ck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a f*ck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]
Man dont do it its not worth it to risk it! (Youre right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Dont even listen to Slim yo hes bad for you
(You know what Dre? I dont like your attitude...)

[sound of static]

(Its alright cmon just come in here for a minute)
(Mmm I dont know! )
(Look baby... )
(Damn! )
(Yo its gonna be alright right? )
(Well OK... )

[announcer]
Meet Stan twenty-one years old. (Give me a kiss! )
After meeting a young girl at a rave party
Things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again his conscience comes into play... (Shit! )

[Eminem]
Now listen to me while youre kissin her cheek
And smearin her lipstick I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitchs earlobe...
(Yo! This girls only fifteen years old
You shouldnt take advantage of her thats not fair)
Yo look at her bush... does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
F*ck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man aint you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
No but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Shit you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man f*ck that hit that shit raw dawg and bail...

[sound of static]
[pickup idling radio playing]

[announcer]
Meet Grady a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard days work
He walks in the door of his trailer park home
To find his wife in bed with another man.
(WHAT THE F*CK? !? ! )
(Grady! )

[Dr. Dre]
Alright calm down relax start breathin...

[Eminem]
F*ck that shit you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work shes with some dude tryin to get off? !
F*CK slittin her throat CUT THIS BITCHS HEAD OFF!

[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if theres an explanation for this shit?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick? !)
Alright Shady maybe hes right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat get your daughter and kidnap her?
Thats what I did be smart dont be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES? !

[Dr. Dre]
Whatchu say? (Whats wrong? Didnt think Id remember?)
Im a kill you motherf*cker!

[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin straight outta Compton yall better make way?
How in the f*ck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

[Dr. Dre]
Cause he dont need to go the same route that I went
Been there done that... aw f*ck it...
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady wheres your gun at?

[gun fires is cocked and re-fired]